GIVING OUT SOME AWARDS

Well, as I’m sitting in the house today battling a cold, and with no NFL games on the tube, and no desire to head on down to “Pirate Fest” earlier, I thought this may be the perfect opportunity to pull out all the “shirt pocket notes” (to borrow a Cope phrase) from the off-season and present some AWARDS from events that took place. These will have to do with the subjects of…..

BASEBALL (Cause after all, this is a baseball league, right?)

ANNOUNCERS (Always a favorite subject of the NPL.)

HBO – TV (Why not.)

And by the way…… The off-season fan fest of the San Diego Padres is called “FRIAR FEST.” At least they have some imagination out there.

BASEBALL AWARDS:

THE MOST DEPRESSING QUOTE CONCERNING YOUR PITTSBURGH PIRATES AWARD:

This trophy goes to Tim Kurkjian of the ESPN media family, who issued this quote on the State of the Pirates back in December…..

“The Pirates streak of 15 consecutive losing seasons is the result of a toxic combination of mismanagement, poor drafting and inadequate player development. Peers say new GM Neal Huntington might need as many as eight good years to turn it around.”

Sure makes you want to grab the credit card and order up that Bobble Head 8-Pack of tickets, doesn’t it? But enough about the poor Pirates. Believe it or not, there are MLB teams out there who may have bigger problems… Consider those teams from the sunshine state of Florida….

THE WE THREW AN EVENT AND NO ONE SHOWED UP AWARD:

And the winner is the FLORIDA MARLINS. A few weeks ago the team had one of those “Select-a-Seat” days for prospective season ticket holders, in which you can show up in person at the ballpark, check out all the seating and pick your seat for any type of Marlins season ticket package. Well, the Marlins were sorry to report that LESS THAN 50 FANS SHOWED UP!!!

THE LET’S GET THE DEVIL OUT OF THIS FRANCHISE AWARD:

The winner is TAMPA BAY! You have no doubt already heard that with the 2008 season, the Tampa Bay Devil Rays are dropping the word “Devil” and will now just be known as the Tampa Bay Rays.

Along with eliminating the Devil, Tampa Bay management is evidently trying to eliminate some bad MoJo that has occurred with this club since it’s inception as an expansion franchise in 1998. Why may they feel that way? How 'bout these top 5 moments in Devil Rays history……

1. The Devil Rays select Bobby Abreu from the Astros in the 1998 expansion draft, and immediately trade Abreu to the Phillies for Kevin Stocker!

2. Wilson Alvarez is the team’s first big free agent, $35 million for five years. He wins just 17 games in five years.

3. Opening Day, 1998: Devil Rays sell out the inaugural game – and don’t sell out again for more than six years.

4. Wade Boggs celebrates his 3,000th hit by French kissing home plate at Tropicana Field.

5. The D-Rays sign 34 year old Greg Vaughn to a four-year, $34 million dollar contract. Greg is released after hitting .163 in year 3 of the deal.

THE I FLEW UNDER THE RADAR FOR STEROIDS IN THE 90’S AWARD:

Your winner is ALBERT BELLE. Can you remember what this nut case was like? For some reason Belle has been consistently omitted from Steroid Era discussions for reasons that are never entirely clear. The guy was completely insane. Remember when he was Joey Belle and for no known reason changed the first name to Albert? He always seemed to suffer from violent mood swings; had one of the best physiques in the league; put up some of the greatest power seasons in the decade, including 103 extra-base hits in 1995 and 99 extra-base hits in ’98. Joey was also known to dabble in the cheating department. Remember that crazy story when teammate Jason Grimsley snuck into the umpire’s locker room to switch his corked bat? And when Belle fired a baseball at a fan in the outfield seats at a visiting stadium during warm-ups? Did he do Steroids? Well, by the time he hit his 30’s, the dude needed an artificial hip!! I may be going out on a limb here, but I think maybe something was up. But you never hear his name associated with the dreaded “S” word.

ANNOUNCER AWARDS:
In general just known as the “Rob Pratte Awards.”

THE I MAKE UP MY OWN WORDS DURING A BROADCAST AWARD:

Our winner is RON PITTS of FOX SPORTS’ NFL coverage.
Come on Ron…… “Trickeration” is not a real word. You’re supposed to be a professional, my man.

THE ‘OH SHIT’, I CAN’T BELIEVE MY CELL PHONE IS RINGING IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS SHOW AWARD:

Yeah, this one was a real classic. The look on DAN MARINO’s face was priceless when his cell phone inexplicably starts ringing while he’s giving commentary during CBS’s NFL TODAY show during last weeks Giants – Packers game. I guess it could have been worse. What if Dan happened to have some Gangsta Rap song as his ring tone? James Brown and Shannon Sharpe may have started getting down if Dan’s phone ring went into “In Da Club” by 50 CENT.

And while on the subject of this CBS NFL TODAY show……. Two things bother me…. Why was Bill Cowher ALWAYS called “Coach Cowher?” After all, he’s not a coach anymore. And I’m not going to miss that silly little promo where all four guys are standing next to each other in their suits, tossing a football back and forth, and then one of them ("Coach" Cowher) drops the ball and they all laugh hysterically! I know what you’re thinking….. These little things shouldn’t bother me, but…….. And I’ve saved the best ROB PRATTE announcing award for last….

THE I HAVE MADE REFERENCE TO, AND MANGLED A LINE FROM ONE OF THE MOST INSPIRATIONAL SPEECHES OF OUR GENERATION, WHILE ON NATIONAL TV AWARD:

You may know him as a winner of “Dancing with the Stars”, or perhaps a running back with the Dallas Cryboys. But EMMITT SMITH takes the prize on this one. As part of ESPN’s post game show for Monday Night Football, Emmitt was evidently excited that his former team, the Silver and Blue, made a fantastic comeback to nip the Buffalo Bills back on October 8th, week 5 of the NFL season. As they went to Smith for his comments, he said the ‘Boys “took on the words of Jimmy V, and they told themselves – Don’t quit, don’t ever quit.”
WHAT??????? Emmitt you Jackass!! The famous words of the Jim Valvano speech are…. “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.” Holy crap….How in the world can anyone screw that up???????




IT’S NOT TV. IT'S HBO AWARDS!!

THE BEST NEWCOMER TO A COMEDY SERIES AWARD:

Just when you thought “Curb You Enthusiasm’s” Krazee Eyez Killa couldn’t be topped, along comes Larry David’s new house guest “Leon.” The episode in which Leon strong-arms back Larry’s Joe Pepitone Yankees jersey off some poor schmuck on the street is pretty good.


THE BADDEST MO-FO ON HBO, NOW THAT TONY SOPRANO HAS MOVED ON AWARD:

It’s pretty tough to find a better choice than “Adibeice” from OZ, but “Omar” from “THE WIRE” is a character like Tony, who is by society’s purposes a bad guy, but the audience loves him. In Omar, you have a skinny, black, shot-gun tottin’ thug with a huge scar down the middle of his face, who is also of all things – Gay, and has a touch of Robin Hood in his personality. Now there’s a combination that makes Omar a beloved character for all fans of this show.

I wonder if Omar will make it through Season 5, which is currently in progress, but the previews show him grabbing his shotgun and heading back to Baltimore to seek revenge on Marlo’s crew for the torture murder of his blind friend, the old man – Butchie, as Omar says……”Sweet Jesus, I’m going to work them!” Yikes… Duck for cover!!

And for the YOU-TUBE offering for this blog entry, we’ll go away from baseball…. After all, it’s the middle of hockey season with the NHL All-Star game and all…… This 1:28 minute clip is from a playoff game in Edmonton in 2006. It’s the singing of the Canadian National Anthem – O’Canada. But shortly into the song, the Edmonton fans take it over and start singing louder and louder and it gets pretty crazy. Towards the end of the anthem the hairs on your arm may be standing up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meLpuF9UMvk&feature=related

"3 ITEMS."

Hello for the first time in 2008.

Since my "Mark Your Calendar" message last week concerning the '08 draft date of March 28th, a couple of thing have happened.

ITEM # 1.

You had probably seen Harv's e-mail reply that ------ YES, Windsor Place will be available as the location once again for the NPL draft. And THANKS to Harv for those arrangements. We'll firm up the time as we get closer, but probably 6:30 PM to arrive at WP. Harv is going to try to arrange for valet parking for you guys this year!

ITEM # 2.

One of our 16 year veterans has let me know that he is hanging up his NPL cap and is going to relax this summer in fantasy baseball retirement.

Yes, Al Cotton of the Alabama Slammers will not be back this season. I know we're all going to miss Al's input and humor. And geez...... Who's going to put the "poll questions" on the league home page now? It doesn't happen very often that a long term member retires from a fantasy game, so I wanted to take a look at how the Slammers ranked in career statistics and give Al some props for all of his contributions over the years. And keep in mind I didn't do this when Bernie left --- so Al, you should feel honored!

But first a brief look back in North Park League history…….. We note the fact that this fantasy baseball league was established in 1992 as an 8 team league. In ’92 Tom Vandergrift and I were invited to join a group (the original 6 - like the NHL) who did something (although no records exist) regarding fantasy baseball in 1991. Those six were Al Cotton, Larry Ott, Bill Harvey, John Stasko, Bernie Nestler and Jeff (Mario) Poholsky. So in 1992, Vandy and I joined and we were off and running as an 8 team league. I recall that first draft in ’92 was held in West View at Al’s mom’s house. The draft board which we wrote our players names on with a marker was placed up against the living room mantle. I went to the archives to look at those ’92 rosters. No draft order was listed, but the Slammers had two players on that first team who are very newsworthy at this moment. One was a Pirate in ‘92 and the other a Red Sox. Isn’t it strange to see that in 1992 both Barry Bonds (Bucs) and Roger Clemens (Sawx) were both on the same NPL fantasy team! Even a little more bizarre is that Ken Camaniti and Gary Sheffield were also Alabama Slammers in 1992. If we only knew then what we know now I’m sure we would have been jagging Al, calling that team the Alabama Steroid Slammers!!

Al’s experience in serving as Commissioner of the Spare Room Fantasy Football League led to the set up of many of the fantasy baseball procedures we use today, and when Al, Harv and Big O found us the North Star Grove in North Park to conduct mid-season pick-ups, we then ended up calling the fantasy league “North Park” when we had to choose a league name, as modern technology gave us the opportunity to go to an on-line website for record keeping in 1997.

So with that brief blast into the past, let’s look at the Slammers numbers over the years. For ranking purposes, there are 15 NPL franchises (different teams) on record. Not individuals, but teams. For example, Bob S and Tony are both part of TWO franchises, one as a solo owner and one with a partner.

Although the Slammers never found that elusive championship ring, you’ll see they fared pretty well overall.

MOST “IN THE MONEY” FINISHES:
11 – (rank: 2nd out of 15 franchises.)

FINISHED:
2nd Place – (4.) 1995, 1999, 2001, 2004
3rd Place - (3.) 1993, 1997, 2000
4th Place - (3.) 1996, 2002, 2007
5th Place - (1.) 2005

MOST ROSTER MOVES MADE:
511 – (rank: 2nd.)

MOST TOTAL POINTS SCORED:
182,202 – (rank: 3rd.)

MOST MONEY WON -- $$:
$2,376.80 – (rank: 4th.)

And I had a phone call this week from an NPL owner (and I’m not suppose to leak Eddie’s name) requesting that the mandatory 5 year waiting period should be lifted so Al could immediately go into the NPL Hall of Fame!! In case you’re wondering where this HOF is located, I understand that Harv is overseeing the construction of a new wing being built onto Windsor Place that will house the NPL-HOF at some future date.

So Al, even before I sent this out, I had just happened to be communicating with three different league members who all said the same thing -- that they were all sorry to see you retire, but respect your decision, and of course you always have an open invitation to drafts, get togethers, etc, and who knows………. Maybe down the line you’ll want to return and I’m predicting you hook up with another owner to form a partnership. In fact, I can just see it now. THE....

Yikes !!

ITEM #3.
Tony & Eddie confirmed that they have decided NOT to split up to fill the open vacancy. It was their option, as that would have been the obvious first thing to offer. But the BULLDOGS remain intact, and in fact, they are already stating that 2008 is “The Year of the Dog!” Okay then………

I don’t anticipate a problem in finding a new owner to fill the opening, and we can get into that further as we move forward, along with the usual pre-season review of things. It's still very early. There's a big football game to be played out in Arizona yet. And you know that if you have any questions or comments, just give me a shout.

And this may be a standard thing I do on Blog postings this year...... I'll conclude by leaving the link to a YOU-TUBE video clip and for the most part it will be baseball related, although not always.

Naturally you need volume up for these, and the one below is a 55 second clip with music from FOX SPORTS - BASEBALL THEME. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFc9YU0UVKc

Nutting's conversataion with Littlefield that you may NOT have heard!!

A little birdie reported that the conversation between Bob Nut Job and David K. Littlefield was actually a little bit different than the public was led to believe.......

Here's what REALLY took place between the two.....

BOB "NUT JOB" NUTTING: You have to answer for Aramis Ramirez, Dave. That little farce you played with my sister, you think that could fool a Nutting? Barzini is dead. So is Phillip Tattaglia . . . . Moe Greene . . . . Strachi . . . . Cuneo . . . . Today I settled all family business, so don't tell me you're innocent. Admit what you did. . . . Don't be afraid. Do you think I'd leave my team without a GM? . . . No, Dave, you're out of the family business, that's your punishment. I'm putting you on a plane to Bradenton. I want you to stay there. Understand? Only don't tell me you're innocent. Because it insults my intelligence -- and makes me very angry... Now who approached you? Barzini, or the General Manager of the Cubs?

------

DAVID K. LITTLEFIELD: (Hesitates) It was Barzini.

------

BOB "NUT JOB" NUTTING: Good. There's a car waiting for you outside to take you to the airport. I'll call your wife, to tell her what flight you're on. Get outta my sight!

-------

Just thought you would want to know......

--Kommish.

Lockhorns find "The Natural"

Continued from the CBS - NPL News site.....

And as the LOCKHORNS story in week 22 concludes, they start week 23 with the new pick-up of the Red Birds Rick Ankiel, and he explodes for a 7 RBI, 22 NPL point game on Thursday in his first appearance for Lockhorn Nation. Ankiel’s comeback story has made him into a modern day ROY HOBBS!!

Harv has only two moves left to cover the final three Wednesdays. Can he work some more of his free agent magic?

Taking a quick trip to the bottom of the standings, we have two teams in the 69’ERS and H-BOMBS who are playing out the September string. These two teams are close enough to each other that they can still flip-flop 9th and 10th. And as baseball is coming to the end of the season we find the Bombers packing to move out of the War Room, and the “War Lords” of NFL fantasy are moving in.

After the big double shut-out day by the ROCK CATS a week ago, the BIG TRAIN has regrouped and is back with a somewhat tenuous lead of 50+ points as of this writing. The Train has been very happy to get the bats of Chase Utley and Hunter Pence back, while the Cats finally got to replace Iron Man Scott Rolen with a power threat in Troy Glaus. And the Cats are starting to wonder how much gas Barry Bonds has left in the tank?

The OWLS are suddenly trying to hold off the fast rising Lockhorns and they have 11 SP’s scheduled to start for this Period # 23, as opposed to 8 for the Horns.

The KOOPERSTOWN KIDS are engaged in an extremely tight race for 5th place right now as only 57 points stand between 5th (Kids), 6th (Dogs) and 7th (Slammers). Remember the old saying of… “You can never have enough Devil Rays.” Well, maybe there’s some truth to that if they’re hitters…. Over the last 14 days the two top NPL hitters are D-Rays and Kids in Carlos Pena and BJ Upton.

Those BULLDOGS of Tony and Eddie almost had 25 bonus points as Scott Baker came close to tossing a No-No, but he did get the Complete Game Shut-Out. Crazy times when you bring back Pedro Martinez and drop Roger Clemens…. In fact, a lot of big names sent to the free agent pool this week, as it’s time to get every point as opposed to long term gain from a so-called superstar.

Speaking of big names and injuries, the PITTSBURGH O’s have a tough call on this young catching star……

If there is any team that can be described as “on the bubble” it may be the Big O’s… 138 points out of the money is still close enough with 24 days left. Especially when you have Complete Game Shut-Out pitchers like the O’s do.

And yes, as the “Current Quote” on the right panel from the owner of the ALABAMA SLAMMERS is a standard staple of Sin City; it doesn’t stay in Vegas when there are NPL cameras on the job…… Al is in Las Vegas with two buddies from work…. Must be long lines for the rest rooms in those casinos, huh?


Well, I can also report that there have been no sightings (yet) of Al and his posse at the location pictured below……..


Is Period # 23 which we are just starting, a make or break week for the Slammers and O’s, both of whom are on the outskirts of the money? Both those teams have a league high 13 Starts scheduled for this period, a chance to gain ground for sure…

Good luck this week and I’m back minding the store on Wednesday

- - Kommish.

Odd, Ends, Predictions, Money & Moves

THE ODDS AND ENDS PART.

When trying to play catch up, and you’ve been making progress at that recently, every point can be important. That’s why the PITTSBURGH O’s had to cut ties with pitcher Chris Young and his unclear injury situation on Wednesday and select a sure thing to pitch. The fast improving Paul Maholm was the right call as he won the first of his two starts for the scoring week. 20 important points the O would not have otherwise had. By the way, it was pointed out to me this week that our ‘ole buddy Greg Brown has another new Pirate nickname out there. The O’s Matt Capps is now known as “The Mad Capper!” I don’t know; give me the old days of Bob Prince’s Tiger, Duck, Dog, Aribba, etc.

The 4th place ALABAMA SLAMMERS have the Starting Pitching set to have 6 guys toe the rubber on Sunday (Aug 26). And none are pitching against each other, which usually occurs when that many SP’s start on the same day. Then, everyone sits until Erik Bedard wraps it up for Alabama with a Wednesday start. Al had two more Triples from Curtis Granderson. Curtis hasn’t been with the Slams for the entire year, but his yearly numbers show double figures in the following categories….
32 – Doubles, 21 – Triples, 16 – Home Runs, 15 – Stolen Bases.

Another player that is well rounded like this is the LOCKHORNS Jimmy Rollins. J-Roll’s stats are….
31 – Doubles, 15 – Triples, 22 – Home Runs, 25 – Stolen Bases. And as you will see when we get to money, Harv likes the idea of 5th place pay.

The 69’ERS were knocking down pins on Wednesday and evidently unaware that a Phillies starter went on the DL. Good luck would have meant it was Jamie Moyer. However, this has not been a good luck season for Piff, and thus, it was Cole Hamels. Trivia Question: What is the record for the longest spelling of last names from a pair of catchers on the same NPL team in the 16 year history of the league?? ANSWER: The 69’ers of 2007 with PIERZYNSKI and SALTALAMACCHIA for a total of 24 letters. Hours of research led me to this conclusion!!

The ROCK CATS had 5 Starters go on Friday, and are scheduled for 5 this Wednesday to close out the week. They have a grand total of 8 Starts left for this week from Sunday to Wednesday. Looking for big pitching points to gain on the Train. In USA TODAY this week they gave listings of batters who Walk the least on average based on their Base on Balls and number of At Bats. The player who takes the least amount of free passes is Rock Cat Catcher Ivan Rodriguez. To date, 409 At Bats and only 7 Walks…

In fact, catchers seemed to be the most prevalent on this list and the KOOPERSTOWN KIDS boy from the Far East – Kenji Johjima was not much better with 12 Walks in 387 AB’s. And by the way, I’m still not ready for the two upcoming fantasy football drafts. But I think I can figure it out….. For the record, this will be my 28th straight year of dong live in-person football drafts with these two being draft numbers 40 and 41. But I’m probably not even close to being at Harv’s number!!

The BULLDOGS have a tough call with what to do with the injured – but not DL’ed Gary Sheffield. And they’re back to having 6 SP’s on the DL right now. Tony arrived back in town and Eddie was glad to see him and greeted him in brotherly fashion.

I also understand that Big Ed is now calling himself “Steely McBeam.” Yikes!! Is this an attempt to aggravate Al ???

The OWLS traditionally like batters who are “lead off” types. And now of all things, Brian Giles is batting lead off for the Pods. You know with Harv’s team earlier this season, Giles had 1 HR in 170 AB’s. As an Owl he has 6 in 141. The Owls lead the NPL in the category of HBP as A-Rod is their individual leader with 16.

But the two batters who lead all of MLB in the HBP number are two members of THE BIG TRAIN and Phillies. Aaron Rowand and Chase Utley each have been beaned 17 times. And of course, #17 for Utley was damaging to the Train. Utley’s current replacement is Brewer Rickie Weeks. This gives the BT three member of the Milwaukee infield, as Weeks is flanked by Prince Fielder and J.J. Hardy as Train ticket holders. A move that paid off for Bob this week was to cut Mark Teahen. He wasn’t DL’ed at the time, but later this week he was. And Nate the N-Dog great is scoring points in his place. How about Greg Maddux – now on the BT, bouncing back and getting a big W? The guy is like a 15 year old pit bull that keeps saving his family’s house from getting robbed even as they’re having the “should we put him down?” conversation.

And despite being in 10th place, the H-BOMBS owner John Schoming says he is no…….

He loves the game, and as soon as he gets some September moves, Justin Upton and his .152 BA may be gone, and more hitting help is coming too….. Paul LoDuuuuuuca, is on his way back very soon from a rehab.

PRE-SEASON PREDICTIONS:

The volatility of the standings actually makes this not worth plotting out at this time, but I can tell you the following….. Remember we had 12 guys doing this, as T & E did separate forms and Bryan the sticker guy did one too.

Three teams currently in the money didn’t get a lot of support. Bob (5 votes), John F (4) and Al (2) currently are there. While the Raven and Harv (9 each) had the support and are showing to be worthy of it. On the under-achieving side…. The Kids and Bombers each had the confidence of 10 voters, but aren’t showing much for it.

MONEY:

I had a question from Judy – Was I going to win any money in fantasy baseball this year? When I said it didn’t look promising….. Well, things got heated…….


I guess the good news for me is that she doesn’t have a brother named “Michael.”

Now, upon SPECIAL REQUEST from one of the NPL’s biggest fans, here is what the money looks like at this time…….

PAID IN: (or will be paid in.)

$1,000.00 - 10 entry fees
$ 912.00 - for 304 moves so far

$1,912.00 - TOTAL in league funds.

PAY OUT:

1st – 30% = $573.60
2nd – 25% = $478.00
3rd – 20% = $382.40
4th – 15% = $286.80
5th – 10% = $191.20

What you owe right now based on moves made --
BOMBS = $126.00
HORNS = $117.00
SLAMS = $111.00
B DOGS = $99.00
BTRAIN = $93.00
R CATS = $78.00
NINERS = $78.00
THE O’S = $75.00
OWLS = $69.00
K KIDS = $66.00

So, thus……. If the season ended today, and if the current top five as of today (Aug 25) win that top five money, then minus their money owed for moves, they would be receiving a check for:

TRAIN…. $480.60
R CATS…$400.00
OWLS….. $313.40
SLAMS…$175.80
HORNS…$ 74.20

Of course, the pay out is never going to look uniform, because everyone makes a different amount of moves, but take the example of 5th place……

Harv RECEIVES a check for $74.20 under this scenario, were otherwise he would be PAYING the league $117.00. And there is the $191.20 difference to someone for paying down to 5th.

Of course, these numbers will continue to grown as we have five (5) more Wednesday’s that will add to it.

MOVES:

At this time we have made 93 DL moves. In 2006 we made 93 on the year. The record is 109 DL moves made in 2005. I don’t think we would break that. The DL’s slow almost to a halt after September 1.

We’ve made 211 DROPS thus far in ’07. In 2006 we did 280, which was an all-time high. I’m not saying we won’t surpass that. It would take an average of 14 per week for each of the final 5 weeks. That could very well happen.

With those 5 weeks left…… Have fun with it…….

---------

And a little something for football season......

CAN THE BROWNS DRAFT PICKS LEAD THEM PAST THE STEELERS IN 2007 ?????

--KOMMISH

NPL - 6 Weeks To Go.

Haven’t posted here since before I went on vacation, so let’s take stock of what is going on in the NPL… Has it ever seemed like you’ve been busy, but when you look back, you wonder busy doing what? That’s me. And geez, with two fantasy football drafts just around the corner. Am I ready for football? Heck no. In fact, I don’t even think I could score a 10 on the Wonderlic Test right now. But speaking of football, one of our owners said they were at a wild and crazy Steelers party for the televised game on Saturday night. They e-mailed me a picture from this party, which is posted at the end of this message. But to honor their wishes, they wanted to remain anonymous…

Regarding baseball, I came across this story and it’s one that is worth sharing. As Lanny would say…. “No doubt about it.”…. If you didn’t think PETE ROSE was a Jackass before, you’ll definitely call him that now after reading the story in the link below. What else can you say about an idiot that would spew obscenities during a speech at a youth baseball camp?

http://news.enquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070802/COL05/708020317/1090

And this past week was the 40th anniversary (08-16-67) of The Red Sox TONY CONIGLIARO’s beaning in the face by Jack Hamilton. As a Tony C fan at the age of 13 back then, I remember this very clearly. But just don’t ask me what I had for lunch yesterday! Conigliaro was a superstar in the making who made his major league debut in 1964 at the age of 19. He was never the same after that night in August ’67, and in 1990 at the age of 45 he passed away.

Bizarro Baseball.
Okay, it is a little surprising to see Rajai Davis play like he is for the Giants, although he has escaped the Jim Tracy regime. But what the heck is going on in Baltimore?? Tike Redmon and J.R. House have started games and are contributing to wins over there. Bizarro indeed…

NPL – Down the home stretch…… A team-by-team look….

10th Place: 69’ERS.
The Niners were in 4th place after week #9, and then went into a tailspin that they are now starting to climb out of. Having a good week in period #20, and they are chasing the Bombers for the escape from the cellar. 25 points away from an invasion of The War Room. Says thanks to Harv for Raul Ibanez. In 35 Niner At-Bats he is hitting .485 with 4 HR and 11 RBI. In this wacky season of movement in the standings, it’s not inconceivable that Piff can start a come back.

9th Place: H-BOMBS:

It may have been a sign of things to come when #2 overall pick Chris Carpenter went on the DL early on. With only the 4 extra September moves available and 400 points to gain the top division, it will be a tough task for young Mr. Schoming. But he would still love to pass the Big O. The good news is Miguel Cabrera. At .328 the Florida Marlin is hitting his weight and possibly playing himself into a permanent 1st baseman. Have you seen this kid’s waistline lately?

8th Place: PITTSBURGH O’s:

Brandon Webb is a GOD!!! In this era of pitchers not finishing games, how fortunate is it to have a guy on roll like he is? Webb was selected by Larry in the 3rd round. I took Dice-K just ahead of that pick. Way to go Slappy!! The O’s are making a strong push, and this team is definitely in the hunt for a money spot.

7th Place: KOOPERSTOWN KIDS:

Was solidly in 5th just a week and a half ago, then suddenly the wheels have fallen off. The starting pitching just can’t get it together. In fact, everyone seems to be getting a laugh out of my squad these days.

6th Place: BULLDOGS:

As Tony enjoys Hawaii, Eddie has the Dogs barking. Tony and Ed talked over strategy last week as Eddie rode with Tony to the airport.

Here’s an odd fact….. They’re the #1 team in hitting points and the #10 team in pitching points. Will old timers Roger Clemens and Pedro Martinez be able to pull it out for the BD’s? How about Magglio Ordonez? Not taken until the 15th round!

5th Place: LOCKHORNS:

Harv is on that bubble spot of 5th place. It’s been kind of an up and down season for the Horns in 2007 and Harv has had moments where he has cussed out Bucco Jason Bay. Consider that back on June 1st, Bay was hitting .314 while his counterpart in the heart of the order, good ole Adam LaRoche was hitting a paltry .215. As of this morning, Bay is at .254 while Red-Beard is at .259. Harv is going to add Canadians to his ethnic shit list……..

4th Place: ALABAMA SLAMMERS:

The Slammers really turned up the heat a few weeks ago and on August 7th, had come to within 25 points of 1st place. A tough pace to keep up and now Al is trying to catch the Owls for 3rd while holding off Harv, T&E, etc. for 4th. The Slammers used all available moves until September to “get them over with”, as the start of the NFL season looms near. But will this come back to haunt them down the stretch? In any event, great individual seasons by 6th round pick SS Hanley Ramirez who may claim the NL Batting Crown off of Go Freddy Go, and Erik Bedard is looking like the K-King of MLB.

3rd Place: OWLS:

As mentioned in the website story, Mr. Consistent of the NPL in 2007. A definite threat to take a run at the title in ’07. The hitting has been solid all season and John will cross his fingers with the pitching. The Owls have those old Pirate locker room favorites of Kendall and Giles. Has even coaxed 3 HR’s out of Kendall this year and what was going on in week 19? Giles has only 7 HR’s all season, but he hit 5 of them for the Owls in week 19!! I think JF had some of Giles’ favorite steroids shipped to San Diego and Giles thought it was 2001 all over again.

2nd Place: ROCK CATS:

Now that the Cats are back on-line, can we expect a rash of roster moves this Wednesday? Interesting season for the Raven. Held 1st place from week 2 thru 8, then 2nd place from week 10 thru 15, then a dip to 3rd but now back in 2nd. The Rock Cats are all about good starting pitching. They have 6 SP’s who have 10 Wins or more and they lead the NPL in the Wins category. And in a bit of irony, the Cats are last in the Saves category. On the other hand, the Bulldogs are just the opposite. 1st in Saves and last in Wins. Of course, I have no freakin idea what any of that means. It’s just my job to report it.

1st Place: THE BIG TRAIN:

The Train has held the top spot for the last 10 weeks and like the Cats, they have good pitching. J.J. Putz is the 2nd best scoring pitcher in the NPL, with only Brandon Webb ahead of him in points. Like Magglio, Prince Fielder was also not taken until that 15th round. Anything can happen in the final 6 weeks but Bob has got to be sure that Justin Morneau will soon start to hit again. The BT has held on despite a terrible stretch by the 2006 A.L. MVP.

And on an unrelated note, I feel like I jinxed the Big Train’s weekend trip to Altoona…. Earlier this week Bob mentioned they were going to Altoona for the Curve game (Doubleheader) on Saturday. I said….. “Yeah, just your luck McCutcheon and Walker will get sent up to Indianapolis before Saturday.” And on Friday that is exactly what happened!! Sorry Bob!

And on Wednesday, September 5th which is a big fantasy football draft night, BOB will be handling NPL e-mails or phone calls for the moves……

Now, onto that Steelers party news…… I’m sworn to secrecy as to which NPL owner enjoyed the game, the party, and had “tons of fun”, but here is a picture from that shindig on Saturday night.

See ya Wednesday….
--Kommish.

PERIOD # 16. "Kommish in search of........"

Okay…. It’s that time of year. I’m searching for something….. I’m looking…… May need help…… Can I locate my destiny? Maybe by the end of this report, I’ll find my way…. But in the meantime, some weekly news…..

For --- WEDNESDAY – AUGUST 1.

For moves – contact BOB SPROULE.

RFSMMS@verizon.net
412-366-9323

Thanks in advance Bob…

------------

The KOOPERSTOWN KIDDIES went with youth over experience this week, cutting loose the 41 year old future HOF’er for a 23 year old kid coming off of cancer. Maddux hasn’t been up to par lately. I’m not going as far as to say he’s finished, but the only thing missing from his recent mound appearances this year have been a pack of coyotes cautiously approaching him from different angles. And if Lester stays in the rotation with the return of the Bloody Sock Guy, I’ll somehow have three BoSox Starters in Schilling, Lester and Dice-K, along with the Closer, Paplebon, and we haven’t even yet mentioned batters Pedroia and Youkilis. It’s enough to think that I’m starting a rivalry with the Owls and his plethora of Yankees. But ya gotta like the Red Sox…. After all, they are looking good these days!

While mentioning the OWLS, it should be noted that on Tuesday night, Tim Hudson was one out away from a Complete Game Shut-Out Victory. Somehow it all went awry, and a few minutes later Hudson was gone and didn’t even get the W. John thinks Bob Wickman is somehow in cahoots with that crooked Ref from the NBA. And while driving from Philly back to Erie this week, the Owl had a chance to tune in some out of town baseball games over the air waves and caught some of Cleveland – Boston. Said what a breath of fresh air to listen to good teams play and good announcers describe it.

More to come on the Slammers in a moment, but with that team now holding down 2nd place to the league lead of THE BIG TRAIN, this has to be “Deja-Vu all over again” for the Train…. It was back in that magical, mystical, rookie season of 1999 when the then Shoeless Joe’s of “B&C” were entrenched in 1st place, but the Slammers were always out there lurking in 2nd…. Does this mean that Marilyn will go back to asking Bob first thing each and every morning the question of…….. “What did Al do last night?” just like it was 1999 all over again?

The ROCK CATS are suddenly in 3rd place due to the Slammer Surge. The pitching continues to Rock. Lots of wins, including the large number of 8 W’s by the Closers already. Not only do they Close, they Win! John was very close to cutting Barry Bonds a week ago. He held onto him, and BB paid dividends this week. But is the HR chase a distraction to the Cats? And more importantly, the media wants to know if the Raven will be in attendance IN PERSON when Barry breaks Aaron’s record?

The 69’ERS may have slipped into the basement for now, but give them credit for trying some strategy. The pick-up of J.D. Durbin has a lot to do with his match-up. On Saturday, J.D. goes against Sugar Shane Youman and the Bucs. WAIT…. My God, did I just use a Greg Brown-ism there with the “Sugar Shane” thing? If I ever do that again, please slap me upside the head!! Thank you.

Sorry…… Back to the Niners……. Also picking up Ryan Theriot. Did you know his nickname in Chicago is “The Riot.” Put those two words together into one and you have his name of Theriot. Piff says he’s still working on the pitching as he made two moves there this week since the staff compiled a Pirate-like ERA of 6.68 for the period.

The BULLDOGS made an Outfield move. Cutting loose Reggie Willits, who I understand was at one time earlier this year known at the Post-Office as “The next Pete Rose.” (the on the field Rose, that is.) Now the duo has claimed a guy named Franklin Gutierrez. Just where do T&E find these guys anyway?? The pick-up of the year so far is turning out to be 3rd baseman Ryan Braun of the Brewers. The Dogs claimed him in place of Ty Wigginton back on May 30th. All Braun has done is tally 235 points in 187 At-Bats while hitting a lofty .358. The Slams were lamenting the fact that they selected ahead of T&E that night but didn’t make any moves. Also having a shot at him and passing were the Bombers and O’s. Hey, more to follow on this, but Eddie asked me to let everyone know that Eddie Jr. is once again running the NFL – Individual Player Survivor League on the same website as last year. All are welcome. I was in this last season and it was fun and a really interesting concept. Easy to do – all on the web. No draft to attend, just set your line-up on line each week and follow the action. Thinking and strategy are required. Again, Eddie will have more details to follow for signing in. Here's the Logo from the Leagues website.....

Did you know???????? That about 20 minutes before the 1st pitch of each Pirate game at PNC Park, there is a short clip on the Jumbo-Tron, in which the Pirates are promoting their Pirates Fantasy Camp. You will see a lefty - #44 pitching in the Bucco unnie. That’s the Big O from the 2006 camp. And as the Sproule’s are heading to Altoona in a couple of weeks to catch a Curve game, they will be looking out for any Larry Ott – Altoona Fantasy Camp MVP memorabilia. The Pittsburgh O’s have two Cleveland Indians SP’s on the roster, but little did Larry think that Jake Westbrook would be 1-6 with a 6.19 ERA and a guy named Fausto Carmona would be 13-4 with a 3.30 ERA. Strange stuff indeed….. And The O’s have been wondering about the fate of their SS Jack Wilson. There was the trade rumor to Toronto. But then the Blue Jays GM apparently nixed that with this emphatic quote to the Toronto newspapers…..

"We have absolutely no interest in Jack Wilson. None. We're not going to trade Josh Towers for a bag of donuts."

--- J.P. Ricciardi, GM – Toronto Blue Jays

A bag of donuts?!?! Ouch! (and why would Pittsburgh want Josh Towers??)

The H-BOMBS re-acquired Garret Anderson this week. GA was the 21st round draft pick of Big Daddy in 2007. And today – Thursday, July 26th is a historical date. The Bombers emerge from out of the cellar for the first time since May 17th. Now it gets tricky. B.D. has had to spend 28 moves thus far. Two DROP moves remain for the five Wednesdays in August before the additional four are given in September. But the team is on a roll, scoring 508 and 559 points in the past two weeks.

By the way……. Damn, I’m still frantically searching for my future out there….. I’m about ready to panic……. Oh well, I’ll keep looking and hoping……

(Back to Baseball)……

Lots of ALABAMA SLAMMERS news this week…. First off, Al said if Wandy Rodriguez can’t even beat the Pirates, he is OUT!! And here is the league record I spoke about that will never be broken under our current rules…….. On Tuesday, both of the Slammer Closers were on teams that played a doubleheader – Texas and the White Sox, but it was not a DH against each other. Eric Gagne SAVED both ends of his DH for 2 Saves in one day. Bobby Jenks did likewise. That’s 4 Saves in one day. Once again, it is a record that can be tied, but never broken. And what are the odds on that happening?

Al said he was at the Pirates game on Saturday when the Pirates won their only game (to date) since the All-Star Break. He was sitting low in box seats and close to the McClatchy Home Plate Club area. Low and behold Al spots former NPL member Tom Vandergrift sitting directly behind McC and chatting him up and joining in with Kevin’s home plate Entourage that evening in standing and clapping along with the outgoing CEO. Clapping when Kevin claps, cheering along with him, etc. etc…. If Van was part of the Entourage, wonder if he would be “Turtle” or “Johnny Drama?” (HBO reference).

Remember when the Slammers owner stated at the beginning of the season that 2007 was to be 1st place or bust? Meaning, if Al didn’t win the league in ’07 he was going to retire from the NPL. Al told Big Daddy, Eddie and Tony that he is a man of his word and he will stick to that statement. And now the A.S. are actually mounting a charge to win the championship in 2007. Maybe he’ll be back in 2008 after all…. However, keep in mind that when Al made that statement, our hidden NPL cameras were on the scene and Tony, Eddie and Big Daddy may not have seen this view of Al when he said those words…….

Hmmm…. Interesting…… Hey, I also have a theory on what could take place in the future – such as the year 2009 in relation to this situation…… Running out of time now, but something to look at in a future blog.

The LOCKHORNS are sitting in 6th place, trying to get back into the money, but I don’t think Harv is too worried about it…. Other events going on for the Harvster these days.. He’s looking forward to a trip to Camp Tomlin (or “Camp Coon” as Harv called it) on Wednesday, and then on Thursday the Harv celebrates his 53rd birthday. Here’s to you Harv……….

Okay………. YESSSSSSSSS!!!

I’ve got it……..

Finally……..

I have thankfully found where I am going………….


Whew……..

See ya in two weeks!!